VivaCity

It has been brought to my attention that when asked to spell out my last name, I always say “‘V’ as in ‘victory’… blah blah blah blah blah.” HA! You really thought I was going to give out my last name on the Internet? Conspiracy theorist I’m not, but that seems a tad dangerous even to ignorant li’l ol’ me.

I hardly realize I do this, sort of a knee-jerk reaction I suppose…I’ve been doing it for years and had heard my father do it for years before that. Yup, we’se some spelling fools. This is where my issue comes into play (surely you knew I have many, many issues). Why do I want to be one of many in a long line of monotonous spellers handing out boring little phonetic tips to boring little FedEx guys in our boring little daily routines?

So…Please no one forewarn him…The next time that poor dear unsuspecting FedEx man asks me how to spell my last name, I’m going to say, “You know, ‘V’ as in ‘vasectomy,’ blah blah blah blah blah.” Cock my head pertly, make a little snippety-snip hand motion, smile sweetly and return to my desk. I’ve got $5 that says he remembers how to spell my damn name from now on. Don’t feel bad for him…It could be worse…I could go with my first instinct, which is of course vulva.

Rage against the tedium!