We are honored to be hosting the Super-Special Olympics in our home this year. Come on down and sign right up! Events will include Marathon Horizontal TV-Watching, the Blame Relay, and of course Laundry Challenge. Anyone with the patience to referee these events will be sainted on the spot.
I, however, am running short on patience these days and you can find me in the 100-meter dash out the front door if I hear the words "fabric softener" ONE more time. Or if I should happen to come home again to find Nathaniel and Alden locked in a dead heat for the coveted Most Consecutive TV Hours Watched record. Practice up, boys, hone your skills for the upcoming Super-Special Olympics, and perhaps you will meet up with the loves of your lives, 'cause I ain't the one. If you see a foxy chick trying like hell to fold a fitted sheet or putting liquid fabric softener (YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I SAID IT) in the fucking DRYER, obviously a contender in the Laundry Challenge, well...you swoop her right up. It is clearly a match made in heaven, and if you need me, I'll be at the Vatican being sainted for not having thrown you out a window the many, many times I could justifiably have done so over the years. I wish the happy couple good luck, and good fortune, and may your children's clothes smell fresh as fucking roses all the days of their lives.
So come on down, folks, it's sure to be...entertaining.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
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1 comment:
I am sorry for your misery, but it does make for entertaining reading. And don't forget"speed channel surfing" that new extreme sport! My husband holds the record on that one.
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